2 months out
It has been two months since my return to Canadian soil and everyday I find more evidence of how much I have changed in the last year. Now that I am starting to settle back into life here, I feel that it is a fitting time to reflect on how I have been affected by my experience in Swaziland and Southern Africa. I feel I am more balanced in my understanding and approach to myself and my life, but my view of the wider world and development in particular has become more bitter and skeptical than ever before.
My notes from a “debriefing and re-entry session” (as if I am coming back from outer space) that I recently attended for individuals returning from government sponsored overseas internships might provide some perspective:
we were asked to make a list of behaviours and traits we took on which we would like to keep and transfer to the Canadian context and those we need to let go of. Some valuable skills and characteristics I feel I’ve gained are an appreciation for the value of personal relationships and support; the ability to sleep more without guilt; adaptability, flexibility and curiosity; and the capacity to truly enjoy simple day to day activities. On the other hand I’ve taken to walking too slow, being late for meetings and not showing up to meet with friends without for warning them, none of which flies in Canada. Overall I am much more comfortable with myself and my path in life. I feel greater confidence in my decisions and instinct and less pressure to produce and perform immediately. These changes probably result from having met so many diverse people, trying to integrate myself into a society with totally different values and priorities and being largely on my own for eight months.
Although I am more balanced and at peace in my life, my external view is more pessimistic than ever before. I have seen so much corruption, inequality, bureaucracy, abuse and disregard for human life that it is at times overwhelming. This is not to say that I have lost hope in development - far from it. I am just more cautious and skeptical and feel that I have more to learn about the world than I ever imagined. Unfortunately (or fortunately) most of this learning is not concrete and cannot be gained in a way that is personally meaningful through any amount of reading or studying. It requires context specific experiences, discovery through living and cautious, thorough reflection. The challenge of truly defining ones understanding of the world system, how it works and how it can be adapted and applied to work to the advantage of the marginalized is immense, but not impossible and I finally feel ready to take it on.
My notes from a “debriefing and re-entry session” (as if I am coming back from outer space) that I recently attended for individuals returning from government sponsored overseas internships might provide some perspective:
we were asked to make a list of behaviours and traits we took on which we would like to keep and transfer to the Canadian context and those we need to let go of. Some valuable skills and characteristics I feel I’ve gained are an appreciation for the value of personal relationships and support; the ability to sleep more without guilt; adaptability, flexibility and curiosity; and the capacity to truly enjoy simple day to day activities. On the other hand I’ve taken to walking too slow, being late for meetings and not showing up to meet with friends without for warning them, none of which flies in Canada. Overall I am much more comfortable with myself and my path in life. I feel greater confidence in my decisions and instinct and less pressure to produce and perform immediately. These changes probably result from having met so many diverse people, trying to integrate myself into a society with totally different values and priorities and being largely on my own for eight months.
Although I am more balanced and at peace in my life, my external view is more pessimistic than ever before. I have seen so much corruption, inequality, bureaucracy, abuse and disregard for human life that it is at times overwhelming. This is not to say that I have lost hope in development - far from it. I am just more cautious and skeptical and feel that I have more to learn about the world than I ever imagined. Unfortunately (or fortunately) most of this learning is not concrete and cannot be gained in a way that is personally meaningful through any amount of reading or studying. It requires context specific experiences, discovery through living and cautious, thorough reflection. The challenge of truly defining ones understanding of the world system, how it works and how it can be adapted and applied to work to the advantage of the marginalized is immense, but not impossible and I finally feel ready to take it on.
posted by Delaney at 10:02 PM
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